It was a question I decided to ask myself later.  This month is the perfect time to take stock:

-What have I accomplished already this year?

-What is still on my project list and which of those will stay on the list and which will be taken off?

-What has me worked up that I am excited about and what am I doing about that?

-What has me worked up in an anxious way, and what am I doing about that?

-What are you reading?

-How is your mindset?  What is going on inside your head?!

Along with energy and activity, blooming, and sprouting- all great things that come with the Spring- there can also be overwhelm and over stimulation- like allergy season.  What am I working on in business or in my personal life that is causing me “life allergy” symptoms?!

I can tell you, I had a big reaction this year!

I decided to get organized and revamp my projects and plans to move forward for the next few months.  Life threw a few curves.  I observed my reactions to them.  I noticed my peacefulness drifting swiftly away.  I got worked up- and not in a good way.  My approach was not working.  So I tried something different.

I decided to keep calm and approach the challenges and conversations with openness, understanding and love.  I was able to be clear about what I wanted and to gain connection.  I could easily see how I was in a better position to get what I wanted than when my hair was on fire.

The thing is, when I remained calm, I was able to see what others wanted to, and there was the space for understanding.  Now I get what I want, they get what they want, or we compromise a little on both sides, but all feel listened to and understood.  When I was worked up I had little energy and focus for anything else.  Calm, I had plenty of wear with all to take good care of myself by doing things like working out- something that makes me feel better!

I also learned yet another lesson about not taking things personally- something I have worked on over many years.  I thought I had conquered this one, but the Universe figured out how to raise the stakes on this one to test me out.  I failed big time!  The failing allowed me to see more and new opportunity for growth.  Painful, but very strengthening in the end.

When you get through hard things, you get to feel stronger.  If nothing difficult ever happened, we would not be able to be fulfilled in this way.  I realize now that the choice to remain calm when things are happening regardless and that I have no control over.  I do have control of myself and I just have to stick with that!

There is so much to be learned from reflecting on what has happened- both to congratulate yourself for what has gone well, and to recognize what has not worked.  I advise my clients to take a mini retreat for a few hours outside of the office to do this work, and to write down what you come up with.  This is the start of the reflection.  The next part is taking what you can learn from those realizations and making a plan with them.

-With the things that went well, how can you expand upon those in the second quarter?

-What new strategies and actions can you take to fix what did not go well as you move forward?

I always suggest that my clients track their actions- as Darren Hardy says “You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”  Make a commitment to what you will measure in the next three months.  Decide what specifically you would like to accomplish in the next three months and then define what actions you will need to take  in order to reach your goals.  Are you ahead of goal, behind, or right on track?  If you are behind, what adjustments do you need to get on track?  If you are ahead, is it possible that you may want to increase your goal?

What have you not tracked that would really help you to be more successful in the coming months?

Who will hold you accountable for what you say you want to do?

Some thoughts as you plan a spectacular 2nd quarter:

What is your theme for the quarter?

What books will you read that will help you to expand that theme, achieve personal growth and learn?

What audios will you listen to, and/or what classes will you take?

What breaks/trips will you take to refresh and renew?

What fun do you have planned to balance the work you will be doing?

What actions will you take consistently to keep your stress level down and increase the level of your health?

Be sure to come up with your own questions, tailor your review to yourself.

Putting in the time now to reflect and plan may not look like time you are getting paid for, but it will most surely be the reason you get paid.  It may not look like you are taking action toward your goals, but it will most surely be the reason you will reach them.  Make a solid plan to include reflecting and planning to your schedule at least several times a week, ideally daily.  Take a small chunk of time each Sunday to fully plan your week.

Have fun and here’s to your great success in the second quarter of 2013!  Go for it!

Building a practice of reflection, pausing has now seeped into the way I think and behave.  Not that I am perfect at it, I have a long way to go and probably there will always be a new level to go to forever.  What I am noticing now is what is happening in the moment.  Here are some of the things I notice going through my head:

-Why am I thinking that way about ________?

-What consequence will those words I am about to say or actions I am about to take ultimately create?  Is that what I want?

-How am I going to feel after I do or say “that”?

-Is that true or am I just making it up?  What’s the proof that it is true?

These are just a few of the thoughts that pop into my head, allowing me to pause, even if for a split second, and to move forward with intention.  It is helping me to limit overreaction, feel more peaceful and enjoy the moments of my life at a higher level.

Start to be encouraged by the how this experience of being more present can roll out in your life.  Start to see how this is a process and it will happen over time.  You won’t real Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now and instantly be a person who is present 100% of the time.  Over time, like me, you will see the door crack open and little by little it will open wider and you will experience the expansion of being in the moment more and more.  Oh the joy!  Have fun!

1.  Resourcefullness-  As I lay a new foundation in my life, I find that making things less complicated is fundamental.  Having too much stuff, being wasteful in any way, buying things I don’t need, acting impulsively and being in the act of immediate gratification- these are things that do not feel good to me at this time, and that do not support me in my goals, values and ideals.  I ask myself each day, and with each action I think of taking- is this choice resourceful?  Is there another choice that would be more resourceful?  This really shows up for me in the area of money- what I choose to spend my money on and what I choose to do with my money, and with my time- I am really looking at spending my time with the best use in mind at all times.  I know I have plenty of time to do all of the things that I want to do, if I plan it and follow through by making the right choices.

2.  Joy - I am intentionally bringing joy into all areas of my life this year.  I said intentionally because this is something that does not just happen.  The definition of joy from dictionary.com is the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.  When I remember to ask myself- how is this delightful?, or how could this be delightful?, I invite joy into that moment.  Gratitude is a huge part of this for me, for as I focus on what I am grateful for in any moment, I can not keep joy away if I tried!

3.  Self-Control- For people with whom I have shared this with this has been a tough one to understand.  They think it sounds harsh and not good in some way.  This tells me a lot about our society today (and I include myself in this, which is why it is in my top 3!) that we want complete freedom and anything that sounds like control in anyway we are going to run the other way.  What I am starting to get a glimpse of and what I intend to get the full picture of this year is that self control brings complete freedom.  When I can get ahold of my actions and behaviors by shedding the ones that are hurting me and stopping me from living my greatest life and making a habit of the ones that will lead me to where I want to do, that is self control.  If I can not control myself, than I am lost.  Again, a focus of this for me is in the area of money and instant gratification.  Keeping focused on the big picture of what I want- not succumbing to the short term gain and forfeiting the long term super gain.  This also shows up for me around food.  I am very healthy and I do not need to lose weight due to some excellent habits and self control in this area, but I have learned over the past year that there are certain foods that keep me from feeling optimally.  They aren’t so bad that I can’t function, but they stop me from being my best.  Which is how I think we operate in a lot of areas.  It’s not that bad and it’s not really hurting me that much, so why not?   To add a spiritual note here, if you read about the Holy Spirit you will read that self control is one of the gifts of the spirit.  Why wouldn’t I want to accept that gift?

I will spend less time on the rest, but all are very important to me:

4.  Beauty- my intention is to surround myself with beauty each day somehow, on purpose.  I will achieve this by putting myself in places I find beautiful, by doing things like lighting candles in my office and at home, by having fresh flowers around, my keeping my environments organized and comfortable- including my car, by wearing perfume each day, by dressing up more than usual, by writing in beautiful journals with nice pens, by going around looking for beauty everywhere and taking the time to stop and recognize it- to behold it!  I am not missing the beauty in my life this year!

5.  Resilience- The ability to bounce back, switch gears, move forward even when things do not go as planned.  Recognizing that it is not the thing that did not go as planned, but my reaction to it that is the key.  I plan on conserving lots of previously wasted energy by being resilient and going on to plan b smoothly and as quickly as possible.  I get stuck when I am not resilient- so no holes for me this year!

6.  Self love- This one snuck up on me this past year, and I started paying attention.   I noticed I was being really hard on myself, and not giving myself a lot of recognition.  I learned a lot of skills in this area (and no this is not selfish, when you really understand this dimension) to help to build myself up in a non-egotistical way.  I did some self study, and even took a class called Inner Mean Girl’s Reform School!  I learned to use that beating up on myself that I might do in a more productive way.  This year I just plain vow to recognize that I am truly doing my best each day and to see all of the good I am doing, and not to focus on what isn’t perfect about me at any given time.  (I also learned that depending upon emotions, and other things, this is a moving target.)

7.  Grace- This gives me the power to put it all together.  I don’t think I could possibly be resilient without it.  Grace has forgiveness in it (of self and others), grace allows for flow and gives me the ability to be kind and thoughtful. Grace allows me to keep my emotions in their most productive place.  Grace is magic- and I don’t think I am in charge of grace.  Grace comes from a higher place (God for me) and is something that I believe I can ask for, think about,  and see it operating in my life.  And when I do, I can be grateful.

8.  Reflection- This is a biggie for me this year- a crucial skill I expanded last year and now am expanding yet again.  Taking time to pause, think, plan, meditate, pray, review the day, the past week.  Reflection allows for the space to ask myself questions and to learn from what went well and what did not.  It allows me to plan the days and weeks I want to have.  Reflection gives time and space for those great ideas trapped in my head to come out into the light of day.  I love my reflection time, which would not exist if not for my carefully planning it into my life.  A true gift!

9.  Intentional personal growth- Again, another planning must- putting this into my schedule guarantees it will happen.  There are certain things I want to study, learn, people I want to learn from, classes I want to take this year.  It is exciting to think about what is possible when I settle down to expand my thinking and my mind and my knowledge in certain areas that interest me.   Where will I be a year from now?!

10.  Excellence- This is my measuring stick.  Is it excellent?  That is the question I will be asking myself when I am going to be making the aforementioned choices.  We each have our own definition, and for me, sometimes it is just a gut feeling.  I know when it is and when it isn’t.  Appreciation of beauty and excellence is my top character strength, so I am going to celebrate my ability zero in on those things and my ability to see what could make anything so.

Please comment with your theme or themes for the year- why you chose it and what you plan to do with it.  Happy 2013!

Think about the best holiday season you ever had?  What made it so great?  Take a few minutes to think about it.  Write it down- in detail.  This gives you a road map to re-create some things you have loved from the past.  Traditions, events, food, etc.

What have you always wanted to experience during the holidays, but never have?  What new traditions would you like to start?  What events would you like to attend?  Would you like to throw a party? Take your kids, or somebody’s kids to see a show like A Christmas Carol or the Nutcracker?  Make this complete list.

You can take  a mixture of these two lists and create a new and exciting last few weeks of the year!

A few more things to think about to prompt you in your planning:

You could do a daily practice of some sort each day in December- random act of kindness each day, write gratitudes each day, etc.

Adopt a family in need and provide a happy holiday for them.

Invite people to your home for a celebration!

Gather your friends in a cozy coffee shop for a little relaxing social time.

Read Christmas/holiday/spiritually themed books- discuss with friends.

Remember to thank people who have helped you all year long.

Decide on how you would like to ring in the new year- what would be your perfect last day of this year- who would you like to see, what would you like to eat and drink, what activities would you like to take part in?

What relationships would you like to heal before the end of the year, and what will you do to do your part to make it happen?

How can you take your gift giving to a new, more meaningful level by really finding out what someone needs, wants, and likes?  Taking the time to really know what a person likes and searching out that perfect something tells others that you care enough about them to do that- that you actually had to take the time to think, research and make it happen.

Do you want to bake or cook?  For you?  For others?

Who can help you and celebrate with you to see that you get to connect with those who matter most to you.

I find this list could be endless!  Have fun dreaming up your wonderful holiday season this year.  In John Maxwell’s book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth he talks about the first law- The Law of Intentionality.   It takes being intentional, having a plan and then following it to see you dream to become a reality.  The list is just the start- next you need to plan actions and execute them- then you will see what you want materializing right in front of you!

“Your goal should be to waste as little of your life as possible.”  John Maxwell

That thought is a simple, yes so hugely profound to me!  Does anyone set out to waste any of their life?  I would guess not- not on purpose for sure!  If we know this, then why do we let time slip through out fingers continuing habits that don’t support us, working at a job we do not like, spending time with people we do not enjoy or who are not going in the direction we are going?  How can carrying around this simple thought with you change your life?

This is how:  by taking ACTION!  I have written about action many times before in this blog.  It really is the root of all change, it is how we make things happen.  We can learn and plan until the cows come home (I live in Vermont!), but until we act upon what we learn and plan, we will go nowhere fast.

What is one area of your life where you feel you may be wasting some time doing things the way you do them?  Is it:

-your way of thinking?

-your health?

-your relationships?

-your finances?

-your personal growth?

-your business?

-what else?

For now, pick one area.  Where are you with it on a scale from 1-10?  and What would make it a 10?  Write out a complete description of this- not just thinking about it in your head- write it down.  Now write down 4 things- big or small- that you can do to move yourself closer to the 10 over the next 7 days.  If you have something big- break it down into smaller actions.  Next, take out your calendar and schedule the 4 activities into your appointment book- into an actual time.  For accountability, make sure someone who supports you knows your commitments- don’t keep them a secret!  The trick to all of this is to follow through on your schedule- the plan you made for yourself.  The trick is not to let that activity drop or slide by!  How badly do you want to move to the next level with this?  Your actions will give you the answer.

Will you waste any more of your life not doing it?

This is what I do in coaching sessions with clients.  A client told me today he is have his highest production business wise in 28 years in business.  We have been working together for over two years.  Why do I mention this?  To impress upon you that changes, especially  big ones take time and patience.  If you ask him now- is it worth it?  Are you glad you kept at it, it was two years, after all.  He would tell you YES!  and all the things he learned along the way about himself, his mindset and even a business he knew well have been many more than he could have ever anticipated.

Get this message for yourself!  It is worth it.  It is hard work, but it is worth it!  Who will you become in the process?  Think about that for a little while!  (and write it down, of course!!)

-You become what you think about.

-You are what you think about.

-Your thoughts create your reality.

-Change your thinking and change your life.

……this list could go on.  There are many ways to express this truth, and it is the truth.  I would suggest everyone in the world pick up a copy of As You Think- the classic by James Allen, slightly updated by Marc Allen. (no relation)  It is the most powerful, quick read you could hold in your hands.  (86 small pages)  Every paragraph makes an impact, if you are willing to soak it in.

Reading it could shed a lot of light on why you have not achieved the life of your dreams.  It is in your face, if you can handle it.  Those who do, have the seeds they need to make the shifts that will surely help them to get on the track they want to be on- in all areas of their lives.  No blaming others, no feeling sorry for yourself, no excuses.

An excerpt from the book that I especially like (though I loved every word, even the ones that hit me between the eyes) is this:

“In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result.  It is not chance.  So-called “gifts”, powers , material, intellectual, and spiritual possessions are the fruits of the effort; they are thoughts completed, objects accomplished, visions realized.”

How does this all apply to coaching?  In order for coaching to be a success, clients must be willing to let go of old ways of thinking that are not serving them.  Grasping the idea that the way you think has allowed you to arrive exactly where you are in life this minute, accepting that, is a key foundation to being able to move forward and create what you want in the coaching process.  Taking responsibility and fully believing that you are able to create what you want is essential.  This part we can build in the coaching process.

Read the book, shine the light into the corners that may be holding you back and get ready to move forward in a powerful way to live the life you have always dreamed about.  Dreaming is okay, but taking action is what creates the result.  What you are thinking about will determine your actions- so your thinking is a very fine place to start!

This is big!  We have always known that having a meaning in your life, a pursuit, a passion is important, but when you start to think of it as important to living with health, as well, it takes on an even bigger importance.

I have recently read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl where he describes fellow prisoners dying once they lost connection with anyone to live for.  He could pinpoint why some died and others lived, including himself.  He felt he had a mission to share what was in his heart and head with the world and he wasn’t about to give up on it.  I just finished reading The Four Purposes of Life by Dan Millman- he even quotes from Man’s Search for Meaning.  I suggest reading both of these books.

In thinking about this information the questions become:

Who in my life gives my life meaning?  Love is a central part of this.  Without others to love (people and pets) we become disconnected, as well as when we believe no one loves us.  We need to begin to allow more love in our lives and if something is stopping that, that is the thing to work on getting to the root of.

What gives me meaning in my life, or could if I developed it?  Sometimes these are things we loved long ago and abandoned.  Revive them!  Focus!  Go to work on your passion in a huge way- and if you are already on a path work to become the BEST on that path and become the expert- know everything there is to know.

This is the place to start, by asking yourself these simple questions to get clear on where you are and where you want to go.

Give yourself the gift of taking time to identify this for yourself!  Your mind, your spirit AND your body will thank you for the rest of your life!!

I decided a few years ago that each Fall I will take myself back to school, too- my own school created by and for me.  Here are some thoughts that can make this a fun process and may inspire you to create your own “Back to School” or personal growth or personal development or personal and professional development plan- the name is also your choice!

1.  What have you always wanted to learn about, but haven’t?  What do you know something about, but would like to know more about?  What would enhance your success in your business if you became expert at it by learning all there is to know?  These questions can guide you to your curriculum.

2.  From your answers above, make a list of “subjects” you would like to study.

3.  Make a list of books, recordings, downloads, websites, etc that would assist you in learning about your subjects.  Look in your own library first! I find many of us life long learners by books and other personal development items in the areas we are interested in, but never make it a priority to read/use them.

4.  Make a list of people you could learn from in each area.  In your plan create time to take them to coffee, lunch, or have a phone conversation.  Have meaningful questions ready.

5.  Create at least one field trip per week to a place where you can expand and experience what you are learning.  Historic places, museums, shops, universities, gyms, you name it- the possibilities are endless.  You can even do a mini internship and go watch someone do their work for a day or a few hours if part of what you are learning may lead to a new career.

6.  Look for classes that you can take locally or online.  Learning along with others is always going to add a new perspective for you.

7.  Before you begin, make a trip to the school supply store for some cool pens, notebooks and whatever else will help to inspire you in your learning.

Have FUN and learn, expand, grow and share it all with the world!

I see lot’s of people looking at tv and basically others and thinking that they are different than those people who they see reaching greatness in their chosen field.  I also see plenty of people, many of my clients included that do what it takes to become great.  They didn’t start great, in fact many start at less than great, but they end up there because of stellar planning, sheer commitment and hard work.  It is immersion for some.

Back to the questions above- once you have the answers, you can devise a plan to become great in those areas.  If you are already pretty great, think about expanding that and what it would mean to be even greater.  Here’s a quick plan:

1. Visualize where you are going- get a really great picture in your head and visit it at least once a day.

2. Write out (by hand) a specific description of your visualization.  When you are reaching your greatness what are you doing?  Who are you with?  What do you look like?  Where are you?

3.  Immerse yourself.  Make an extensive list of all of the ways that you could become great at what you want to become great at.  List all of your resources, people, opportunities, and tools that can help you on the path.  What classes could you take, what training is required and from where, audios, videos, books, mentors, coaches- make a complete list of everything and everyone.

4.  Take massive action, in the words of Tony Robbins, each day.  Choose carefully actions that will lead you to greatness each day.  Make excellent choices and learn quickly from the not so excellent.  Always keep moving forward.

5.  Know why you want to be great and keep focused for when times get tough, and they always do at some point, this vision and “why” will keep you anchored in your goal.