4th Quarter Magic- Devotion and Thinking Big

Filed under: 4th Quarter 2017 — kdubrul at 1:01 pm on Monday, October 2, 2017

Why magic?  To me, magic is things happening that you don’t know for sure can happen, or sometimes don’t believe could happen.

Whether you’ve had a fantastic year and your goals are right on track, or you have had a fantastic year and your goals are off track OR you have not had the year you wanted and are feeling a little down or disappointed about being off track- there is some magic for you.

The magic is in how you think. You still have almost three months left this year. And October- a nice long month- has just begun.

What do you intend to do with it?

How do you reignite excitement for your goals?

How do you take on track goals and take them over the top?

What has to happen in order for you to really enjoy this last quarter of the year while finishing strong and creating momentum to move you into 2018?

The truth is, and you’ve heard this before!, what you think about it will determine your experience and your outcomes.

For myself, I am on track for some goals and off for others. I want to squeeze all of the goodness out of the 4th quarter both business wise and personally. Just thinking that way gets me excited.

Devotion is one word I am taking into this last part of the year. Devotion to my life and making the most of it. Devotion to do the very best thing I can with each minute of my day- which sometimes means breaks and self care, and sometimes means working my but off and keeping focused.

Only you know the answers to the questions I posed above.  Yes, you do know the answers.

What would you still like to create this year? If you don’t want to call it goals, call it intentions, or whatever word you like. It’s having an idea of what you want in your life, a vision to move toward. If you don’t have a picture of it, then you are living your life by default.

Don’t get me wrong- some of my favorite people are living by default and they are VERY successful and doing great things in all areas of their lives. But I wonder what else might be possible for them.

So that’s why I say magic, because it seems that way- a little tweak in thinking, a few questions answered in writing- these small things can change things in a big way.

My last and somewhat cliched thought for this time is – THINK BIG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.  We all know people no more capable than we are that are up to big things and creating what they want in life. It’s time to stop thinking we are any different than they are. The only difference is that they are figuring out a way and they are taking ACTION- fearful or not. Doubting or not. They are DOING it.

Please be powerful in these next few months- for yourself and for the rest of the world. If we all do our part to be the best we can in our little corner of the Universe, everyone is better off.

Subscribe to my newsletter at youryearoftransformation.com- the next one goes out this week.

And if you want to hear more about finishing the year strong- tune in to my Blog Talk radio show this Friday- here’s the link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kimberlydubrul/2017/10/06/4th-quarter-re-set-finishing-2017-strong-starts-now

 

 

Back to School Season ’17- Grown Up edition

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 6:53 pm on Thursday, August 31, 2017

I write a post like this every year at this time!  Does this happen to you- do you still get that back to school feeling like you should go back to school clothes shopping, school supply shopping, and excitement about learning new things.

When we were growing up we did things like deciding to reinvent our style, or we grew over the summer, or got braces. One thing was for there were always changes in who we were at the start of each new school year.

Where are you at now with your “schooling”?  If you are in school currently continuing your education, then you can skip the rest of this.  though you may still like these thoughts.

Now that we are grown up we have the ability to be the curator of our continued learning.  Think about what you have always wanted to learn, but haven’t studied.

Or something you liked studying in high school and would like to learn more.  Suddenly I am really interested in some science topics and in history. I have always had a curious mind, but these subjects have never previously been my focus.  I am at this time interested in learning more in these areas.

What could you learn about that would enhance the work you do and the results you get?  Or increase the enjoyment of your life. Maybe you are ready for a side hustle. (starting your own business while you work at your job)

Here are a few ideas if you’ve got the back to school “bug”:

 

-Take a look at all of the books you have already bought and make a 90 day plan to read them- or some of them!

-Study a certain theme that you are interested in by reading, listing to audios, taking a class- in person or virtually, and taking yourself on field trips!

-Hire a teacher or tutor to work with you.

-Start a study group to read on a subject and take turns running the group and discussing learning.

-Immerse yourself by taking a break and spending a period of time studying in a focused way.

These are just a few ideas- the fun part is that no one is going to tell you what class you can take, or what you have to study- you get to choose and it can be anything.  It can be so empowering to learn something new.  When you become engaged in learning, especially challenging yourself it increases happiness and confidence and these things will affect your entire life in a positive way.

Create your curriculum- full schedule, or one “class”- you decide.  And maybe you will want to get some new school supplies and a new outfit, too!

Back to school 2017!!  Enjoy!!

PS  If you are looking to become inspired, motivated and to learn how to grow your business or develop yourself personally in any way you will want to be at this great event: How Does She Do It?  On September 22 in Burlington, Vermont- with an incredible panel of women who we would all love to call colleague, partner, best friend- they are all real and dealing with all the facets of life,  just like you. They have ideas of what works for them, and what doesn’t- and will inspire you to consider what you want in life and to develop your own plan to create it.

For tickets please visit:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/how-does-she-do-it-a-panel-super-networking-event-tickets-35856118616

I hope to see you there!

Half Way Through 2017! Check In and Check Up

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 7:51 pm on Sunday, June 25, 2017

Pretty much every year I write a post like this!  It’s not because it’s necessary, which it might be, but I truly enjoy this half way point in the year as a way to reflect and continue on, or reflect and re-calibrate to then continue on. This year I feel very hopeful at this point. I am not just talking about for myself, but for everyone. I set a lot of goals at the start of the year, I am not on track to reach all of them, but it’s been a great year so far. For me, it will be a mixture of reflect, renew and re-calibrate. For many things I will stay the course and continue on, and for some of my goals I need a new plan.

Why am I feeling so hopeful this year? I think it’s got a lot to do with the personal growth work I have done in the past year or so. I have been teaching my self through the guidance of others to really stick to what matters- in thought, word and deed. This has saved me a great deal of time and energy for the things that are most important. I have saved emotional energy more than anything. I am hopeful for everyone, because I know that if I can do it, others can,too. And maybe I get to have a hand in helping others or being an example for living a good and happy life.

In reflect and review mode, I haven’t found a better way (and if you’ve been reading my posts, or listening to me for a while, you will recognize this) than looking into the 8 areas of our lives.  In this post I want to go through the 8 areas with some thoughts for you to consider in each area for your own life, and I will share some of my own examples with you. Use these to formulate your own SECOND HALF PLAN, to move forward toward goals in a bigger and more energized way!

FAMILY-

In this area you can consider anyone in your family, or who is like family to you.  What goals do you have for time with them, things you want to do with and for them.  These are YOUR goals, not things you want them to do. Think things you have control of and a say in. Most of my thoughts in this area circle around time and experiences. I set goals to set time to spend with family members together and separately, and activities I would like to do with them. What about your significant other partnership? What goals would you like to set specifically about that?

SOCIAL-

In this area think about how often you have been seeing friends and enjoying fun with others outside of your family members. The frequency of this is totally personal. In different seasons of life this will look differently. Even during different seasons of the year. The idea around this is to be purposeful and intentional. In this area I find with working with my clients that many times we have to be ready to be the orchestrator. I see plenty of people offended or with hurt feelings not to be included or not to be doing things with friends, heck, I have been there myself! I have friends that if I didn’t try to set up a time to get together with them, it would never happen. I make the effort because my life is better when I get to spend time with them. I like to see friends at least a handful of times each week and I have to save time in my schedule and make plans to make it happen.

MENTAL/INTELLECTUAL-

This area is all about what you are learning. Personal growth, expanding your thinking and your mind. I always have reading goals- a list of books I want to read, classes to take, experiences I want to have each month, my coaches. Some of this takes planning ahead- especially with classes. Spending time with people who make you think is also good- so some areas overlap. I also put magazines, podcasts, anything I want to learn from into my plan. So ask yourself- in the next six months, how many books would you like to read? What classes and conferences would you like to attend? What’s your elevated plan for this area to be stronger mentally in the second half of the year? Another mental aspect to consider is meditation and anything you might be doing to increase brain health. When I write goals about meditation they show up in this area, health and spiritual areas, as well. Meditation is one of the most important mental things I do each day.

HEALTH-

This is a great area to review, although sometimes not easy!  So many areas to focus on- I tend to look at it like mind-body-spirit goals. I have the mind covered in the previous area, and coming later you will see the spiritual area, so this area I focus on the body.  Things to think about- are you on track with your fitness?  Weight, muscle, endurance capability, food intake-quality and quantity. Do you want or need a stronger or different plan. One thing I suggest here is to keep things simple. Complicated health plans will go by the wayside. Also, do you need to have any doctors appointments in the next 6 months? Dentist, nutrients, acupuncture, chiropractor. Do you need a complete physical (for most people it is suggested once per year),  are you on track with your vitamins and supplements and other medications? Are you getting enough fresh air and time in nature? What about sleep? Take a good look at all of these things as you plan a great second half of the year.

COMMUNITY-

This is a simple area and a call to review in what ways you are and would like to make an impact in the community- community service- where you will give your time and talent. It could be donating time or money, or both. What is meaningful to you? For some clients this is an essential and big part of their lives, for others- again depending upon the season of life- this may be a smaller goal. When you have school aged kids, much of your community time will go to things they are involved in, or their schools. What’s important to you? Where could you make a difference. In this day and age, feeling that you make a meaningful contribution to your community may become more and more important. Also, to consider- is there a group that you might want to attend or join that could help you in one or more areas of your life?

BUSINESS-

Your business, or career- working in the home, or out. This area covers it all. What are your goals for the next 6 months? How will you get better at what you do? What would you like to do expand or stop. Who do you need to talk with or collaborate with? (social) and what do you need to learn or know better (mental). What activities will you take on? What will your schedule look like? How will you enjoy it more? How do you increase your excellence and what steps will you take and when? Look at where you are at the half way point- are you on track to hit your goal for the year? Are you ahead or behind? What adjustments do you need to make to the goal and why?

FINANCIAL-

This is simple, but impactful. In the first half of the year have you been living within your means, and reaching your goals, paying your bills, saving,but having some fun, as well? Area you paying off debt with a plan? Is it working? What needs adjusting in this area? I make a budget each month, and I have not been 100% strong in following it, so I am getting accountability and stepping up to the plate to follow through on my plans and goals at a much higher level between now and the end of the year. To also think about- would you like to increase your earnings? How could you do it? What steps will you take? How about decreasing expenses?

SPIRITUALITY-

This area may be the simplest of all for me. Here’s my plan- prayer and meditation time first thing each morning, always having a spiritual book going and daily readings that are just floating around to be picked up at some point in the day. Breathing, yoga, meditation, time in nature. This area has become the foundation for how I live. If you have religion in your life, that’s great- this, again, is such a personal area. Design what works for you- uplifts you and generally makes you a better human being to treat yourself and others more kindly, to be energized, to inspire you to do your work in the world in a bigger way, to give you courage, and to look at the good in things. Making this area strong is such an important foundation for the rest of your life. You don’t have to change everything all at once- pick something and start working with it. In addition. having gratitude and a regular practice of gratitude in your life change change your spiritual self in profound ways.

Take your time and have fun with this. The best thing is that you make a few, simple plans for over the next months, that you look at this at least once per week, and make a specific plan each month and break it down for each week to stay on track. The more you look at and work with these goals, the less likely you will be to get off track.

And don’t be afraid to change your goals at any point. This is all to be worked with- none of it is set in stone. And lastly- don’t forget to always congratulate yourself for all that you have done and are doing- big or small.

Always asking yourself – “What is the next right step?” is a great way to keep yourself from getting stuck, to stay present and to reach your goals.

 

 

Time to Perk Up! Shaking the Blahs, and Popping out of a Slump.

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 1:35 pm on Sunday, March 19, 2017

The winter’s in Vermont can get long .  Shorter days, less light, colder temps, more time inside, and less in nature.  This can cause many to over the months develop the winter blues, blahs, and can turn into a slump.

While we can easily see what the blahs can be all about and feel like, there might be more of a question around what an actual slump is.  How do we know when we reach slump status?  And when does it go beyond a slump?

Looking at one of the definitions of the word slump- to decline or deteriorate as health, business, quality or efficiency, and another- to sink heavily, as in the spirits- we can start to gather that a slump may be longer lasting cuts deeper that the blahs.  It may start with blahs and as it continues over time, the compounding of low spirits, lack of motivation, discouragement, low activity will start to take over.  Sometimes it is hard to notice when you are in the midst of it, so you have to really be willing to be honest with yourself, and talk with someone you trust to help you to identify it, if you are not sure. Taking action on some of the ideas in this post may help to break a true slump- if these things are not working or you or someone you know is not even able to attempt to take action, there may be something deeper, like true depression, going on and this is time to talk with a doctor as soon as possible.

Negativity is almost always  present with a slump.

The opposite of a slump?  Blessing, boon, increase, success- from dictionary.com- so how do we bridge from slump to success?

Besides the Winter time reasons for heading toward a slump, a big contributing factor to a slump is not taking time for yourself and getting burned out. Despite hearing for years that taking care of yourself first before you can do your best in every area of your life, people still seem to think that is selfish, or a luxury, or feel more comfortable being busy, than being quiet and slowing down.  Slow down to speed up is good advice.  Rest.  What a concept!

Over the years I have developed the ability to see a slump on the horizon.  I have developed many habits that I keep going all year long which keep me from reaching that point.  My clients and friends have experienced slumps and worked their way out in a variety of ways.  What I have learned from this is that there is no one right way to break a slump, it is very personal. The one thing that is universal- get awareness and take action.  If what you do doesn’t work,  it’s information and you go to the next thing.  You will find what works for you.

Here are a list (in no order of importance) of things you can do to break your blahs and slump.  As you read the ideas, feel which ones resonate with you the most and start there.  These have been gathered from all of the sources I mentioned above and some, as you will see, are very personal.  Allow these to inspire you to find what’s right for you.  Also, realize that even if you love what you do, everyone needs rest and adequate amounts of it.  In the yoga works we refer to yin and yang.  Our world is filled to the brim with yang energy and action right now. We may need massive amounts of yin to offset it- more than you thing- slowing down, reflection, breathing, thinking.

First thing (for everyone)- take a (real) day off, preferable two asap!  Even if it seems that you can not do it because you are just too busy- you will come back to whatever it is that needs to be done fresh and ready to go.  Spend the day doing all thinks that you enjoy. (or used to )

What people do to get out of a slump:

Get out in nature- walk or exercise, sit in the park, outdoor cafe.

Read a good book that entertains or inspires you.

Got to a show at your local theatre or hear live music.

Journal about how you are feeling and write out a description of how you want to feel and what you want to be accomplishing and pick one action per day to start loving in that direction.

Watch a movie.

Surround yourself with beauty.

View artwork.

Watch favorite tv shows

Spend time with a friend or friends

One friend noted (especially for Winter time related blahs) visiting greenhouses to get filled with that springtime feeling!

A client likes to write- poetry, short stories, she likes to get outside even in the Winter- she makes herself- to hear the birds sing which cheers her. She also mentioned using a salt lamp has made a big difference, so check that out.

See a nutritionist to make sure that your levels of vitamin D and more are in a good place to support you.

Cook a meal or bake if you enjoy it -create something!

Moving forward, formulate the plan to put into place to make sure to keep you from getting to slump in the future.

Ongoing activities that can work:

Listen to inspiring podcasts and read books that keep you up and engaged.

Scheduled thinking, planning, reading time every day and week and month.

Regular exercise that tires you out balanced with exercise that keeps you centered in your body. (Check with Doctor).  I like a combination of spinning 3 times a week, walking dogs daily (no matter the weather- actually a pet can be very helpful in staying out of a slump!), and then yoga class several times a week.

Meditation- I recommend the Insight Timer app- it’s free and perfect for all levels- this one thing has totally changed my life for the better.

Take regular retreats to rejuvenate – I like a nice yearly one, quarterly retreats for an hour or two, go away to a summer retreat, learn something new and go away to study it.

Change up your environment- take your work to another room or another place altogether. Take trips- day or longer- whatever is available to you.

Body treatments like massages, etc (check with your Doctor if you are not sure), on a regular basis.

Some resources that might cause you to think big about taking some time for a break are Cal Newport’s book Deep Work.  And Stefan Sagmeister’s Ted Talk titled-The Power of Time Off- these have both been inspiring to me.  I was also listening to a podcast- the Art of Charm podcast- and someone they mentioned taking the idea that Stefan S. talks about and changes the time frame to fit their life now- so think big- be inspired and play around with what works best for you.  Turn this into a fun game- get excited about the possibilities.

The truth is- the search to find the keys to break your slump can actually bring you out on the other side to a bigger, brighter life than before the slump.

Everything you do can put you in that place for more results, enjoyment and success in all areas of life!

Please share things you do to break a slump or move past blahs in the comment section!

 

 

Happiness In 8 Areas of Life 2017- Health Day 1 of 8

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 8:24 pm on Tuesday, January 10, 2017

2017 is here, and to me, it feels like it holds a lot of promise.  I am starting with a fresh approach to how I look at EVERYTHING- and it is mighty uncomfortable at times.  My goal is to rid myself of habitual thinking, default thinking, and to really THINK about what I think, and what actions I want to take, and what I really want.  This means knowing what I want first! And walking through fear, a lot.  Letting go, knowing what I can control and what I can not- you know, the Serenity Prayer, my constant companion these days!

Each day, for the next eight,  I am going to write a short blog post about one area of life.  Feel free to work through them over the next week if this idea resonates with you.  This is a system that I use with clients, during talks I do- and most especially, continuously in my own life.

I am starting with the health area of life as it is very difficult to do much when you feel physically and mentally lousy.  Energy is the foundation to anything you are going to do- energy comes from good health, great self care.

Start by asking yourself how satisfied are you in the area of health on  scale from 1-10 (10 being you are totally there and 1 meaning you are no where with it)

Think about things like your weight, physical stamina, sleep, workouts, blood pressure, diet, cleanliness, check ups, supplements, outside time, mindset, laughter, steps, etc……..

What would make it a “10″ ?  Describe in detail, if this area of your life was operating at the optimal level- you at your very best-

-what would have to happen?

-what would be happening?

Don’t worry about how you would do it, or if you believe it possible, just describe what it would be.

Once you have answered this you can start to move forward by devising a plan.

Start with three things you could do in the next 7 days that can you move you in the direction of the “10″ to get some energy and momentum going around it.

Where would you like to be by the end of the year?  Work backwards breaking down what would need to be done each month to get there.

OR  just decide on three things in this area you will focus on and do them all year long.  What three things in the area of health would make the biggest impact on your life?  Break each one of the three down into steps- what is it, when will you do it and how often?  Boil it all down to actions and you can put into your schedule.

Consistency will compound your efforts and will lead to results.  Start here today. Commit to someone else- make it public- get accountability so that when you get tired or bored or whatever threatens to get you off track- this time- you will not give up!

 

Holiday Season 2016- More Joy, Less Stress

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 3:31 pm on Monday, December 12, 2016

It’s that time of year again- so full of wonder, beauty, great smells, sharing, gratitude- just so much good!  It can all be easily over shadowed by an extra heaping helping of stress.  Here are just a few ideas to help you to keep the scale tipped in favor of more joy and less stress this season:

- One of the greatest stress creators is jam packing your schedule with too many events- I know, I have been the expert at this in the past.  I am used to carrying a heavy load of activities- all of which I love- and tended in the past to take on a lot more.  The result? I didn’t enjoy much and was always running behind and apologizing, forgetting things and I even became disorganized! One of the best things I heard a few years ago, and it helps me every day is the concept of

FOMO  vs  JOMO

FOMO- the Fear Of Missing Out- I didn’t want to miss a thing.  Truth be told, I still don’t, but I recognize my limits.  My challenge came with the actual fear of missing out on something good.  If I say no, what will I be missing that others are not? Oh boy, this one had me running for a LONG time, as in, most of my life.

Now I have switched myself to a new way of thinking:

JOMO- The Joy Of Missing Out!  Hearing this idea was life changing for me.  You mean, not only is it okay to miss something, but there might actually be joy in it, too?  Whoa!  And it is true- living by this concept has allowed me to be very thoughtful about what I say yes to.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to go to everything, but the joy is in not getting stressed, frazzled and possibly even sick.  Such freedom.

 

What else can get in the way?

Setting expectations too high.  Just as in scheduling too many things, committing to too many duties can be a real problem as well.  Be realistic about what you expect from yourself, even set the bar a little lower than you might-gasp!- to account for the unexpected.  Also, it’s nice to be realistic about what you expect from others, as well.

Taking time for yourself is really important.  I hear many people talking about how their healthy habits got off track during the holidays.  Realize that this is a choice.  Healthy habits can help you get through the holidays so do not allow yourself to let them go!  Keep up your exercise, eating well- with a little fun in the mix!- and most of all get enough rest!  Being rested enough is right up there at the top of the list of reasons you will be able to stay joyful during the holidays- you do not see many exhausted people who are joyful.  Sliver out some quiet time to just sit and be still- it doesn’t have to be long- it will pay in clarity, groundedness and will allow you to make good decisions the rest of the time.

Eat sugar in moderation!

Find ways to help others to have a happy season.  Time, money, surprise gifts and kindnesses make everyone feel joyful- especially the doer of the good deeds!  Even cutting someone slack might be a kind gesture over the next few weeks!

 

What else keeps you more into joy and less stress during the holidays?

Please share!

 

 

Can You Coach Yourself?

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 4:30 pm on Saturday, November 19, 2016

And the answer is….. YES!

So the next question is …how?  Here are a few good tips, which I will also be sharing on WCAX TV’s the :30 show on November 21st at 5:30 pm eastern time!

On my last appearance we talked about what coaching is and how it can benefit anyone.  A quick synopsis of what you can gain from coaching are things like performing better, gaining clarity about your life, goals and decisions, making smarter decisions, and all around reaching new heights of success in all areas of your life.  Speaking to some of the most successful people around you will hear them say that having a coach is imperative to success for them and becoming more important all of the time.

And the exciting thing is that if you are not quite ready to hire a coach, you can coach yourself.

FIRST be clear about what you want to change or expand in your life.

Coaching is all about asking great questions and here are a few:

-What’s going well in your life, or with your situation?

-What have you already done?

-What works that you could do more of?

-What doesn’t work that you should cut down on or stop altogether?

-What would you like to do differently or better?

-On a scale from 1-10, where am I now?  and what would make it a 10?

-What small or big actions can I take to move in the direction of the 10?

-What 1-2 actions could I take in the next 24 hours to get myself moving forward now?

 

One of the keys to coaching is consistency- you are going to want to do a quick check in on your goals and coaching notes each day and take time for a coaching session each week- plan an hour for yourself.  This will help you to stay on track- avoiding getting way off your mark and having to work to get back on track before proceeding.   You will want to be checking your progress and deciding on next steps to keep your momentum going.  Clients that I don’t work with every week are asked to send me an update each week in between sessions so that I can stay on track with them.

Another crucial key is scheduling your action steps into your planner or date book following your coaching sessions and each week. Once they are in the schedule, following through is the biggest challenge and the most important!

Set bite sized chunks to take action on- breaking down into the smallest steps will likely be the most successful.

Accountability is a hallmark of coaching.  Find someone who cares about what you are doing and what you ant to accomplish- no naysayers- you need someone who is in your court to ask you about what you have done/not done. Find someone who will ask you the tough questions!

Lastly, if you get off track, muster resilience and get right back on track.  There is no sense in getting stuck and feeling guilty and sad. Assess the situation, learn what you can from what got you off track in the first place.  Remember, it is all learning, and so that in itself !

The Seasons of Life

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 2:49 pm on Monday, September 19, 2016

Tonight on WCAX Channel 3 in Vermont’s The :30 show the topic is the seasons of life- we only have a few minutes to talk about something big, so I adding notes and resources here to supplement!

What do we mean by the seasons of life?  Much like the seasons of the year, our lives have different seasons- different ages, careers, different things we are engaged in- and as we change and grow, we move in and out of different seasons.  And much like the actual seasons of the year we will have times when we are creating, planting seeds, taking action- like the spring, times when we are taking constant effort to grow what we planted and being disciplined to do so- like summer, harvesting what we have worked so hard to grow over the summer, from the seeds we planted in the spring- like the fall, and times when we are quieter, resting, preparing, reflecting, hunkering down and preparing for the next growing season-like winter.  In our lives, however, these seasons do not necessarily follow an exact timetable, although they may in many ways.

Some examples of seasons of your life are;

Childhood

High School

College

Entering the working world

Different jobs (each new job represents a new season)

Getting married or divorced

Having kids

Kids leaving home

Starting a business

Changing health

Retirement

Losing a loved one or a friendship

Moving, and there are many many more and million shades of those, too.

A season is usually ending for work or relationships when you feel burned out, dissatisfied and have lost your passion.  It is a call to really look at what you are doing- sometimes you can tweak things to make it a new season in the same place, but many times it is a call to move on.  A season ends when a major life change takes place, as well.  So you can see we choose some seasons and some choose us. Sometimes a season has ended and you don’t realize it or there is denial- this is why you might think endings are bad.  Staying too long may bring on bad feelings, and not allowing for a graceful ending- instead there is hurt and sadness, bitterness and many other negative feelings about people and the situation which may not have been necessary.

Leaving a season will usually take a lot of courage.  The reason we stay to long is the fear of the unknown- at least we know what this season is, stepping away, the safety seems to disappear.

Sometimes we may hurry to the next season, not wanting to feel the pain, discomfort and challenge which occurs when you have the time to think, reflect, take stock of what you learned in the last season.  That space is known as the liminal space.  Rushing through it cheats you of all kinds of personal growth, clarity, and lessons- because there is struggle- who wants to struggle?  But I love this quote sent to my inbox by Ram Dass: “only when the caterpillerness is done can one become a butterfly.”  What does the caterpillar have to do to become the butterfly?  STRUGGLE.  Embrace it!  This is why you or someone you may know repeats the same mistakes over and over again- same relationship, different face.  Same job, different location, etc.  This is the time to reflect, reassess, realize the lessons of the past season, get clear and grounded to make good decisions and choices moving forward.

A word to those who might be feeling badly now about repeating past mistakes over and over again: it is OKAY!  I want you to remember that you are not the same person at any point in time that you were the last time you make the “mistake”. We are always growing and changing- just know that there is more of the lesson left to learn- AND there really is no such thing as a mistake, rather experience or lesson might be good, as everything that happens is moving you forward.

What about regret in past seasons?  Same thing applies as above.  Don’t judge the you of yesterday with the you who you are today.  Know that at time the you that you were did the best that you knew how to do. The only real mistake is not taking the lesson and moving forward, letting go of regret.

Some people try to get an old season back- it will never work, just based on what I wrote in the previous paragraph- everyone and everything changes- the time, the place, the people- you can’t go back.  Like author Rob Bell says, this is like thinking- “we will get the band back together”- but think about how many bands actually get back together and are as good as the original.

So, what is the best time for beginning new season?

A time of defeat or failure!  Use the energy to begin anew and decide what you want and start planting those seeds.  Use what you have learned and move forward into a new season.  All that needs to happen is for you to choose it!

RESOURCES:

A few things I like on the subject are;

Jim Rohn’s classic book which I have ready many times in different seasons called THE SEASONS OF LIFE!

Robcast (Rob Bell) episode #115 from August 22, 2016  called Seasons(available on iTunes podcasts)

Toni Stone’s Seasons of Prosperity, 9 Year Cycles workbook available at http://www.wonderworks.org/books.htm

Post your thoughts and questions here at the blog or on Facebook. Thanks for ready!

The Pursuit of Happiness

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 7:16 pm on Monday, August 1, 2016

Everywhere you look you can find something about happiness- it’s a real thing right now- quotes, books, podcasts, etc.  I personally love all of the information out there, and am especially appreciating the science backing it all up.  I love the conversation and I love to learn more.  When it all boils down, though, it all seems like a lot of common sense.

Most of the time we can be our own worst enemies- a huge block to happiness.  We say yes when we mean no- or vice versa.  We short change ourselves, missing out on opportunities. We play it safe instead of risking when we have little to lose and much to gain.

I like a thought I heard recently on one of Rob Bell’s podcasts (the RobCast) which went something like this:  when we create our lives, we take part in the ongoing creation of the world.  Sometimes, he says, when we really go for it, it’s like taking a risk so big we feel like we fell down a flight of stairs on ice skates. We may have the most to gain.  Even if we fall, we moved forward.

For the month of August maybe you could play around with what is.  Who you are.  Shake things up a bit.

These are some things that can be happiness boosters, in August try one – or several-out.

-If your days are very structured, try loosening a piece of it.  Or plan a “loose” day once a week where you just go with the flow.

-If your days are very loose, try adding in a bit up structure- a predictable part of the day that you repeat every day this month.

-Find out what your strengths are (www.viacharacter.org) and ask yourself:

-How do I naturally use these strengths?

-How could I use the top 5 intentionally to bring more happiness into my life? (operating within your strengths is one of the biggest happiness boosters there is!)

-Stop focusing on what is not good or right about you and your life and focus instead on what is.  I challenge you to write a list of all of the things that are good about you, that you are good at and that you have done well with in your life.  Keep it handy to refer to on those down days that happen occasionally.

-Create your team- make a list of everyone who supports you in your life from your best friend to the dry cleaner. Your team is there for you. It’s great to remind yourself that you have your “peeps”- or your glam squad- which I kind of like the sounds of!

-A belief in something greater than yourself is pretty crucial, in my opinion, to highest levels of happiness.  If you get stuck on what the point of life is, and being upset at not knowing the answers as to why we are hear and what your purpose is, you will put yourself on the path moving steadily downhill away from happiness. If being stuck in this thinking is habitual- get some help. It’s no way to live a happy life. We might all wonder at the marvel of existence from time to time- it’s getting stuck on the wondering that will do you in.  God, spirit, the Universe, Source, etc.

-Make sure that your words and actions match. I’ll leave it at that.

-Be intentional about what you say to and about yourself.  Yourself is listening.  Your voice is the greatest salesperson to your brain, it’s most loyal customer.  Whatever your voice says your brain believes and buys it no questions asked.

-Work to allow less choices- make decision making easier by narrowing choices and being able to say to yourself, I have enough information.  Be okay with making the best choice as far as you can tell, and knowing that not choosing is also a choice. Choosing always moves you forward. It will always lead to the next thing even if it wasn’t the “right” thing.

-Lastly, for this post, start a gratitude journal and record some things in it every morning and/or night.  Our thoughts determine our happiness and this is a great way to train our minds to focus on what is good.

Leave a comment below or on Facebook sharing what you are taking on in August.  Enjoy raising your happiness level, creating more, living on purpose, connecting at a higher level.

For personal development, business, mindset and life coaching contact me.  I work with groups and individuals who are taking their lives to the next level through how they think and the actions they take.  To receive my monthly newsletter which includes articles, book suggestions, and all of my programs go to www.youryearoftransformation.com and sign up today!

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Mid Year Check in 2016

Filed under: Transformational Thoughts — kdubrul at 7:56 pm on Tuesday, July 5, 2016

The half way point in the year may be even more exciting than the beginning of the new year.  This is because even though the year has begun, even half way through- we have the perfect time to re-assess and get back on course, or change course- further determining what our year will look like in the end.  Every year I write this same kind of post at mid year. I talk with my clients about mid year and for business people we also look at how the numbers are stacking up to see if they are on track.

This year I am thinking more about passion and action.  It occurs to me more and more that what each one of us wants is out there for us to get it- if we know someone or can think of someone who has done what we want to do then we know it can be done. But the truth has never been more true- no one is going to do it for us.

The question is are you settling and if so, where is that coming from?  A couple of weeks ago my daughter asked me what she had to do to have enough money to buy all of the things she wants and to travel to all of the places she wants to go. I plainly explained that you start where you are, get your first job, educate yourself, create something, whatever it is the main thing is that you will put in time and hard work.  Then she asks me the best question of the year “isn’t there any other way?”

She was serious.

Sure we hear of other ways all of the time.  Some people will spend and waste their precious lives waiting for those things to pan out.  Think people who play the lottery religiously or think Prince Charming. These people have given away their power. As well as their present and future. Remember that Vince Lombardi saying- “Hope is not a strategy.”

Is it hard to change your mindset and your actions and habits?- probably. Is it worth it?- definitely!

No one can decide, but you.

Let go of critiquing and controlling what other people are doing in their lives. Put all of that energy into creating your own amazing life. The one you always dreamed about having.

Ask yourself some real questions. (or hire a coach to do the asking!)

How are you doing this year on a scale from 1-10?  What would make it a 10?

Who do you need to spend more time with?  Less time with?

What have you learned in the first half of the year?

What do you still need to learn?  How will you make it happen?

What stories are you telling yourself about why you can’t create the life you want?

What obstacles got in the way and what is your plan to avoid or deal with them when they arise again?

What habits do you need to let go of?  take on?  What ‘s your plan for that?

Which of your new year goals are still important?  Which will you let go of? Do you still know what your goals were?

How often do you look at your goals?

What new goals would you like to take on?

Who do I want to /need to connect with?  Who can help me?

What are you most passionate about right now?

What are you the most grateful for right now?

 

Answer these questions and even create some of your own. Find a quiet and uplifting place to have a mini retreat= giving yourself some time to really think about these answers and to plan your second half of the year!

Don’t tell yourself you don’t have time to do this.  Do it. And check in with your plan daily, weekly, quarterly and at the end of the year. Make it happen!

 

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